Movie Review: The Avengers – Why I Want to Make Nerdy Babies with Joss Whedon

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My dear movie goers, Assemble thyself and prepare for one of the greatest superhero films of all time, The Avengers. A part of me feels that I have waited my entire geek life to see this movie come to fruition. Setting the record for the biggest opening debut in North American cinematic history, The Avengers is a project 7 years in the making. Nick Fury, director of the peace-keeping organization known as S.H.I.E.L.D., assembles Earth’s strongest heroes, including playboy Iron Man, smash-inclined Hulk, delicious Hawkeye, the deadly Black Widow and the musclely Thor to combat one of the gravest threats the world has ever known. Loki, the demented and downtrodden brother of lightning god Thor, plans to use the Tesseract, an alien cube of limitless power, to transport his army to Earth and take it over– you know the usual world domination scenario. However, the Avengers are a band of egotistical numbskulls with testosterone spewing from their pores. Will their hubris prove to be their undoing and result in the total destruction of Earth and the enslavement of the human race as we know it?
 
What could I possibly find wrong with this movie? It possesses all of my favorite things in life. A film written and directed by the one and only Joss Whedon, who I want to have nerdy babies with, strapping Herculean like mens wearing tight spandex fighting one another in some epic display of masculinity, and a ginger heroine who kicks eurrrveerryboooddy’s ass without breaking a sweat. What’s not to love I’m just saying. The Avengers sets itself apart from many of the other superhero films that have graced our lives over the years because the Avengers didn’t suck, lest we forget The Green Lantern or X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The film captures the whimsical campiness inherent in a comic book flick but also possess a beautifully crafted story ripe with dynamic characters and witty writing. Did I mention the musclely men in spandex beating the crap out of one another? I give this film 4 and a half Xs out of five; basically if you do not go and see this film you do not love yourself.