Prometheus: The Aliens Prequel that Epically Failed

Ridley Scott returns audiences to the dark and terrifying world of Aliens with the prequel Prometheus. A team of researchers embark on an intergalactic journey to understand the origins of mankind. Their explorations lead them to  a remote planet teeming with hostile alien life forms that may or may not want to infect and kill them. As the researchers fend for their lives they unearth a secret that could mean the total annihilation of the human species.
Prometheus is The Aliens prequel that went horribly horribly wrong. Dear Ridley Scott. You brilliantly cast Signourney Weaver in the original Alien and her balls to the wall mentality was what we loved about her character.   Sigourney Weaver was  a strong, empowered female that didn’t spend two hours whining but instead kicked ass while terrifying alien creatures chased after her. Do you know what Prometheus doesn’t have? SIGOURNEY WEAVER!!! Instead audiences were treated to a band of under-developed characters that nobody cared about, even as the aliens were eating their faces off.

Ohhhhh I’m a group of scientists, I know everything about the universe and world at large, ohhh I see a pile of dead bodies in an ancient tomb and I’m GOING TO GO IN FOR SAMPLES LIKE NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN. I don’t care what happens to me, the crew, or the greater Universe at large as long as my hypotheses are proved correct and everybody credits me for the discovery.

Stupid asses. Ridley Scott attempted to be all philosophical, as the scientists questioned God, religion, and mankind’s purpose in the universe. However, Scott presented more questions than he could have possibly answered in a two-hour span of time, leaving audiences generally confused and bored. Just because your stupid-ass characters dramatically stare into the camera while they reflect about their dogmatic beliefs does not make your movie insightful or thought-provoking. Prequels are intended to provide movie-goers with insight and substantial back story that creates a rich and deeper story. Scott shrouded his prequel in a veil of mystery and ambiguity that made it seem as if it were a separate movie – in fact many of my friends were unaware they were watching the Aliens prequel and were pissed with the end result when dutifully informed.

As the final moments of the movie came to close and we actually saw the birth of the Alien, I was reminded of Star Wars Episode 3 Revenge of the Sith, where audiences suffered through 2 hours of a crappy story in order to see the birth of Darth Vadar as if that singular moment made up for the atrocity of the overall movie. I’m sure many people will disagree with analysis – as critics have given Prometheus a thumbs up – but I give this movie One star out of Five; Stunning visual effects were the only thing that this over-hyped movie had to offer the world and so therefore, wait to Redbox it.